This page has weird and wonderful stuff, some of it is plain ridiculous!
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Nine Phrases Women Use
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they
are right and you need to shut up. This means your facts may be right
but you are still wrong.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an
hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given
five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a phrase, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning
of nothing)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a
women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and
hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.
Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is
true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is
not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'.. That will bring
on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying..Go to Hell...
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several
times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man
asking 'What's wrong?' (For the woman's response refer to # 3).
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"I may not be the fastest, I may not be the tallest or the strongest. I may not be the best or the brightest. But one thing I can be better than anyone else, that is to be me."
Leonard Nimoy (1931-2015)
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"What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife?
A knife has a point."
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Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!
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I am the beginning of everything, the end of everywhere. I am the beginning of eternity, the end of space and time.
What am I?
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And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round….and laughed and laughed and laughed…
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"I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been."
William Golding
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Zen Philosophy
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Insightful Thoughts
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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